We all doubt sometimes, we all wonder if we will succeed, if we are good enough, smart, beautiful ready. At times it is even constructive. As long as this makes us want to be better, be smarter, more beautiful and better prepared it’s all good.
But what do we do when doubt plays in the opposite team? when doubt stops us from doing something, it prevents us from making decisions, taking important steps or truly believing that we deserve it.
Doubt can take many forms, overthinking or ruminating endless thoughts and scenarios, negative self-talk, self-sabotage, low self-esteem and others. We are very creative when it comes to doubt.
Doubt itself can be seen as insecurity, and the antidote to insecurity is security. How?
First of all, let’s remember a truth that we forget too often:
We should NOT belove everything we think, not all our thoughts have a pragmatic, real, proven and nailed down base.
I know, it sounds weird. Let me explain what I mean.
Most people, you and I, have at least once had quite convincing and loud thoughts about someone or something that was going to happen. We tend to give the same weight and importance to all our thoughts long before or even without checking – rationally and pragmatically – if they are plausible, real and correct.
In the face of new challenges that take me out of my comfort zone, it’s absolutely normal for me to feel insecure, my thoughts to say : I don’t know, I can’t, I’m not good at it, I speak too fast, I’m not clear enough, I don’t have experience in this… and the list can go on and on. Sounds familiar ?
We all face this. The difference is that some of us have learned not to immediately believe everything we think, but to check if that thought has a real basis or is it really fear, doubt, the unknown, discomfort, lack of trust or knowledge?
How do we do this?
Just like when you read a news/story that seems suspicious to you – check other sources and what you already know.
Facts based and not what you assume under the weight of doubt.
- Why do I think I won’t succeed?
- What did I do other times to succeed?
- How did I learn when I didn’t know?
- How did I last time managed my discomfort facing a new challenge?
- Who/what can help me?
- Who must I become to be able/know/dare?
These are some simple questions that always work, at least will give you the chance to see with critical eyes the thoughts that don’t help you. After a while we will learn not to assume that a thought is true, but to check it before we allow it to significantly influence our decisions, actions and ultimately the quality of life.
Do you KNOW what you know and can do, or do you let doubt decide your limits?
Try the questions above and tell me how they worked.
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