Healthy perfectionism is when you strive to achieve reasonable and realistic standards that lead to a sense of self-satisfaction and increased self-esteem.
And that is a good thing right? True, but just as important to mention that unhealthy perfectionism exceeds high standards and is driven by fear of failure or disappointment in others. In a way, it’s normal to want everything to be perfect in your world, but when you start expecting things to be perfect, things get a little out of hand.
Perfectionists tend to set very high standards for themselves and their loved ones. They tend to visualize a successful end result and are great at mobilizing everything around them to achieve what they imagined.
Although this can be a wonderful and productive skill, perfectionists often face self-created problems because they become inflexible in their thinking, goals, or standards.
Despite to what it may seem, perfectionism often has its roots in the lack of self-esteem, confidence in one’s own worth and in that feeling of – I am sufficient and loving as I am today.
When your expectations are set to an extremely high level there is clearly a high chance of “falling in the deep” if they are not met. This may be due to being less open to flexibility at times.
Although there are many positive aspects of perfectionist tendencies, it is important to recognize the pitfalls associated with perfectionist tendencies toward extreme thinking.
And we slip there much easier than we think.
Some of the common traits of a perfectionist include:
- You keep telling yourself that you have to be and everything is perfect.
- You get stuck in endless procrastination driven by worry about mistakes.
- You feel ashamed and guilty when you make a mistake.
- Focus on flaws rather than what went well.
- You might even expect perfection from the people around you!
May not be you but maybe you just recognized someone you know?
And then where is the middle ground? The secret is to aim to do as well as you can and when it doesn’t work out, try again tomorrow! Learn to be gentle with yourself not only demanding so the path to your goals will not only be efficient but also enjoyable.
Be compassionate and understanding with yourself and the ones around you.
Expecting things to be perfect may not seem theoretically a bad thing, especially in today’s world when everything we see is “filtered” or blamed for not having “filters.” Who could blame us for wanting to make our own corner of the world as perfect as possible?