More often than you think, we unconsciously take over the desires and dreams of those around us. It can be difficult to tell the difference between what we want or what a dear friend, relative, or family wants for us.
When we know that those around us care about us, and we love them, thrust is natural. And all this in most of the cases is normal and constructive.
The problem starts when without realizing it we adopt their aspirations, their plans for us become ours and all that without really asking ourselves “Do I want this?”
Have you ever been surrounded by those well-intentioned problem solvers and at a simple beer discussion, the moment you start mentioning the annoying boss you somehow find yourself in front of a monologue about why you need to change jobs immediately?
Or at a simple “how are you” question that you decided not to follow with courtesy today, somehow you wake up with recommendations for divorce, emigration or who knows what else?
These ideas and solutions do not have to be rejected, but before making any decision, make sure that they are yours. Make sure that are aligned with your desires, aspirations, lifestyle, time or budget. Otherwise, despite all good intentions, you might end up asking yourself “how did I get here?”.
The next time you have a doubt or simply want to make sure you are not running after other people’s dreams but working consciously on your own, I sugest you to ask yourself the following questions:
-“Is that something I really want to do?”
– How will achieving this goal fit with the other things I want in MY life?
– How will MY life be better if I do this?
And although we don’t like it, it’s worth considering these:
– Does the person who suggests this to me have any “business” benefit out of it?
– If I do that, what’s next? do I want the next thing?
These answers, clarified before adopting a new goal or dream will save you time, money and the frustration of waking up one day to live the life of others and not your own.
Suggestions from people who love us are welcomed when we feel stuck or lacking ideas. Saying “thank you” and “I’ll consider this too” is a correct and sufficient answer until you take the time to make sure it’s what you want.
I strongly believe taking care of your wellbeing is just as important as doing your best to make your loved ones happy about your choices in life.
Did this sound somewhat familiar?
In case you have doubts a simple but meaningful coaching discussion will help you find what are your dreams and how to actually work on them.
Make this effort for yourself, for your personal happiness!