Real life & thoughts

Since we were kids, we are told to bend and mold ourselves to make others comfortable. Sometimes this messaging is implied (how to dress, how to wear your hair and, for instance), and sometimes it is direct (“I don’t’ care if you don’t want to hug your grandfather, it’s rude not to!”), but it’s always there, we all had it. So it’s no wonder that most of us find it difficult to set appropriate boundaries as we get older. We don’t want to offend or hurt others, even when that avoidance ultimately means hurting ourselves. We’ve been taught from a…

We’ve all heard the story (neuroscience!) that says that somehow our brain is made to always see the negative more impactful than the positive things of our days, and in fact that’s how we end up seeing our life. But it never ceases to surprise me how deeply and unnoticed it settles in our lives. Three clients, three different life stories, three different countries, cultures and backgrounds in the last few days and starting from different work topics in our coaching process we somehow ended up in the same place.  We wake up discouraged, confused and sometimes very tired. These…

One way or the other you probably bumped into discussion on mindset. We all did. I still wonder if those who talk about it really have the same understanding of what mindset means.  A mindset is an established set of attitudes of a person concerning culture, values, philosophy, frame of mind, outlook, and disposition.  It may reflect a person’s worldview or beliefs about the meaning of life. I may also be described as the filter though which you see the world. Your personalized filter that you have on all the time, it influences how you see the world, the people, how…

We all doubt sometimes, we all wonder if we will succeed, if we are good enough, smart, beautiful ready. At times it is even constructive. As long as this makes us want to be better, be smarter, more beautiful and better prepared it’s all good. But what do we do when doubt plays in the opposite team? when doubt stops us from doing something, it prevents us from making decisions, taking important steps or truly believing that we deserve it.  Doubt can take many forms, overthinking or ruminating endless thoughts and scenarios, negative self-talk, self-sabotage, low self-esteem and others. We…

Just as we think of motivation as an initial burst of inspiration, drive, and optimism, we need to think of discipline as what will help us get things done. Otherwise, all the dreams and goals, stay just that and we are stuck in the “it could have been” mode. Imagine that you have an inspiration, an idea, a vision that you believe in, and you start working on it motivated. A new habit, a new job, a new lifestyle or even a new business idea, all require motivation. You will most likely have to work on it more than you…

The question is fair and if we are honest probably, we all have asked ourselves this at least once , why would I pay for someone to teach me something if I can buy a book cheaper? Why would I need X nr of coaching sessions if can just read “ the guide to the ideal life”  myself? I would add one more question, what are you doing better in your professional or personal life after you read that book? How close are you to the life you want for yourself after the latest “ steps that make you happy’…

Whatever you are going “back to school”, have kids who are just about to, or just looking for a way how to move from vacation mood to fully “back to work” mindset – September is a significant month for all of us. September brings with it a different pace, season and creates a good foundation for us to reassess our goals. We tend to increase our workload throughout the colder, winter months which allows us to take our foot off the pedal when warmer weather comes around again – which also explains why we always want to pack so much…

Whether it’s personal life vs. professional, or the management of our time, balance seems to be thatgoal towards which we all aim. It must be ideal, round, perfect, stable, repetitive, clear, simple, make ushappy, and if it can come by itself, right? I don’t believe in balance, at least not in THAT ideal balance between all the elements of your life. If we analyze, honestly too few of us have only 2 elements to keep in balance. Our real balance hasabout 3, 4, 5 or more elements. It’s not just a job and personal life, it’s also our passion/hobby, friends,time…

The question comes naturally and is justified, the border between the two professions can sometimes seem quite fine or unclear for many. The psychologist is a professional who focuses and analyzes the happenings from your past that brought you to the present situation. Psychology, as a form of therapy, deals especially with a person’s past and traumas. The psychologist will try to help you understand what exactly from your past contributed to your situation today, what exactly needs to be repaired and/or healed so that your present becomes less difficult and doesn’t seem so gloomy at times. The psychiatrist is…

Blue Monday is the name given to a day in January (usually the third Monday of the month) declared by a travel company to be the most depressing day of the year. The concept was published sometime around 2005 and it seems that the date was calculated using a rather mathematical “equation” based on meteorological data) Why is Blue Moon the most depressing day of the year? Well, apart from being a Monday in January, with gray skies and not-so-friendly nature where most of us have fully started our working year and all the fun seems past and forgotten or…

Let`s talk about the not so easy parts of the personal development process! You would tend to say personal development is good, we all know it is. Weather you call it coaching, training, self-development, in a formal environment or in an autodidact way, it`s ultimate purpose is to get you to the best version of yourself, living your best life.  So, is there a downside to it?  What I noticed during the past years is that often people start the process and there comes a time when they stop, they get scared and suddenly it probably feels too much, they…

31st Of January marks my 1st year of working formally as life coach. I stared full of enthusiasm and excitement and just as much full of doubt and fear. I wish I could say that there was a clear and vivid dream for my practice, but the reality is that there was a lot of dreaming and visioning and probably too many ideas to start with. This year has been a total rollercoaster, full of highs and lows. As I reviewed my first year I decided to put together a list of things that I have learned to not forget…

We struggle all year long  to become something that we think we want to be, if we are lucky, we struggle to become something we actually checked and aim to be, and no that does not make it easier just more meaningful.  Then comes Christmas and suddenly all we want to be is us, unapologetically ourselves. But hey, the world just works his ass off to have a perfect Christmas and you just want to be you? have struggles, hate some things, love other things, sleep until you cannot sleep anymore because you need to recover from a year worth…

What is your first thought when you think of Change?  If you are like most of us, the first thought is an emotion, may be discomfort, fear and some anxiety?  Fear of change? Fear of anything, I think. Most of the time, fear prevents us from acting. We are simply beginning to think of a million lies (yes!) to justify our inaction. We thus become masters in convincing ourselves why we do not need change, why we are better off exactly as we are. Somehow, we still continue to dream of a completely different life. Feels familiar?  We are afraid…

I don’t want to insult you by saying that. It happens to be true for almost everyone, including me. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself: When was the last time you changed your mind? (Asking the waiter to change your order from vegetables to french fries, or changeing the awkward shoes when no one sees it, don’t really count!) When was the last time you changed your mind about an opinion, or belief, that REALLY matters ??? If something specific comes to mind, tell us in the comments! If not, no worries, most of us can’t think of too…

What is healthy thinking? Healthy thinking does NOT necessarily mean positive thinking. We all have an overdose of all speeches with positive thoughts.  No one can look at things positively all the time. Sometimes bad things happen, you lose your job, you argue with someone you care about, or you lose someone you love. It is normal and healthy to feel upset and have negative thoughts when these things happen. Healthy thinking means looking at the whole situation, with all its elements, positive parts, negative parts and neutral parts and only then to reach a conclusion and take decisions. In…

Once  I was asked: what if you treated yourself the way you treated a pet? I stared with my eyebrows raised … I didn’t have a pet which didn’t really help at the time to understand the question nevertheless tt find an answer. Today it is easier for me, I have people close to my heart that live with pets and I have a cat from which I learned a lot. But what did the question want to trach me? Let’s see . If you are a responsible person and you love your “fur-baby”  then make sure that: ⦁ is…

More often than you think, we unconsciously take over the desires and dreams of those around us. It can be difficult to tell the difference between what we want or what a dear friend, relative, or family wants for us. When we know that those around us care about us, and we love them, thrust is natural. And all this in most of the cases is normal and constructive. The problem starts when without realizing it we adopt their aspirations, their plans for us become ours and all that without really asking ourselves “Do I want this?” Have you ever…

As a coach, studying human nature, I understood that there is a lot of science and many ways to analyze personalities. Beyond the tests and without referring to any particular method, I think we can all recognize that one of the most interesting but also controversial personalities is that of the REBEL. A rebel in many ways is like the artist. The most obvious difference is that the rebel does not manifest his talent in a single area, or perhaps did not receive the necessary support, and could not make a profession out of it. Most likely, the rebellious type is…

“Don’t grow up, it’s a trap “  Sometimes it seems that we spend our whole childhood wanting to grow up and when we finally do grow up, all we want is to be children , at least sometimes, do you know the feeling? Many of us are at the point where we would rather be free and immature than be grownup and responsible. Maybe during these times more than ever. To be called childish for some of us may be an insult; as if not long ago was the time when we did everything possible to fit in , we tried…

Did you know that studies show that the chances of achieving your goals increase by at least 50% if you not only work on them, but also have an accountability partner? But what is an accountability partner? Responsibility is an ongoing duty to complete the task at hand; accountability is what happens after a situation occurs. It is how a person responds and takes ownership of the results of a task. Accountability means having both the ability and the desire to give someone an honest account of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior .And while it is important to always be…

Healthy perfectionism is when you strive to achieve reasonable and realistic standards that lead to a sense of self-satisfaction and increased self-esteem.  And that is a good thing right?  True, but just as important to mention that unhealthy perfectionism exceeds high standards and is driven by fear of failure or disappointment in others. In a way, it’s normal to want everything to be perfect in your world, but when you start expecting things to be perfect, things get a little out of hand. Perfectionists tend to set very high standards for themselves and their loved ones. They tend to visualize…

What if, instead of letting the feeling that makes your stomach tighten to convince you very quickly that you don’t want to, you can’t, it’s not ok, it’s too dangerous, it’s too much, you won’t make it anyway, you could manage it in such a way as it really helps instead of tarring you down? That feeling / that emotion, and that voice that shouts: no! no! no!… and lists in 5 seconds 20 different reasons to stay still and do nothing, most of the time it has its roots in anxiety. Through its filter everything becomes much harder, and…